Wednesday 13 February 2013

Dilemma

My fascination with a lot of things is to do with what I don't know about them. I make this statement in the context of my recent visit to this place called Sattal. 

Sattal left me with a feeling that I should've realized something, but I was leaving the place when I recognized that I have failed to realize that thing. I have no idea about the nature of what I should've realized but I know that there is something rankling in my brain, waiting for the right slot to fit into. However, there is no imposition upon me to find that slot for the rankling piece. I just feel like I was this close to knowing something, and before I could, I had to leave.

This mystified something is calling me back to that place. I've heard people say that the mountains call to them. One of my friends says that what I feel isn't unusual. Mountains do that to you. You feel like you will find something about yourself and the world. 

I have no idea about how true it is and if there are answers to my in-articulated questions. Nature is so much bigger than us. 



We are mere humans. How can we expect to unravel all the secrets of nature that might culminate into answers to our mute question? Is my coming back to Sattal to look for answers a fruitless exercise?

Even if I don't find answers to my questions there, I'd still like to go back. You can't marvel over the enormosity of nature in the cities, where the concrete jungles do nothing but suffocate you. You can't realize how small you actually are because in the cities, you've built everything according to your size.

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My fascination with a lot of things has to do with what I do know about them. For instance, I feel that sunsets are better in the cities than in the mountains. There is nothing mystical about the sunset for me. Sunsets signify the end of a day without the certainty of the other. And this uncertainty can exist only in the cities, because they are representative of the human condition of mortality.

 I never felt the sunset in Sattal. Every evening brought with itself the promise of a new day. 

I'd like to go back again for a lot of reasons. But the main reason why I'd want to go back to Sattal is because it promises me something that I do not have here- anonymity, and by extension, immortality.

PS- This picture is clicked by me.




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